It is often said that a family that eats together stays together and varoius cultures have different meal sharing habits. In Pemba, where I
spent my childhood, there was this Arab family (close friends of ours) who took the eating together ritual very seriously. Their main meal of
the day was partaken from a huge platter from which the entire family would eat their meal; yes! just one big silver plate about 24 inches in
diameter. Having thoroughly washed their hands; each member of the family would help themselves to the food from the serving pots into
their little section of the platter and begin to eat their meal – always with the fingers of their right hand. The fascinating thing was, no
one invaded anyone else’s space, no one touched anothers fingers. Even with five or six individuals sharing this platter, the meal was not a
messy affair; in fact it was quite the opposite. The parents maintained that this meal was the most important to them as it envouraged bonding and this was a time when the children could be at home to share the meal with the menfolk of the family.
As home here in Charleston, whilst we don’t eat from the same plate, we most certainly have our main meals together as a family. Whilst at
weekends food is consumed in the Jikoni, during weekdays we all sit at the dining table to eat our dinner. I feel it encourages a sense of
community and if we eat together, we can communicate better, its that rare time to actually talk to each other in an otherwise busy week.
In Mwanza at my in-laws home all meals were generally partaken at the huge dining table that they had. Weekends were very special as the menu was not the usual daal bhat shak but more elaborate. Most Sundays saw guests, friends of the children at the dining table and the meal would continue for about 2-3 hours. The entire family would be sat at the huge table discussing various issues, laughing, joking and teasing each other – cheesy jokes were quite the norm here. Usal Bhat (the recipe is on previous blog) would have been prepared form the various vegetables purchased by my brother in law from the Sunday Veg market. Sunday meals were a big deal in the Vithlani household yet a fairly relaxed affair.
In Dar we always had our evening meals together. Tea time was generally in the company of friends and business associates who would pop in to be with us. I remember, I used to make chai and some hot snack each evening when I came home after work. We would gather at the table
which was laden with all sorts of snacks and nibbles, just sharing our stories from the day. Neighbours would pop in now and again and it was
such a pleasure to have them come round. I especially like the fact that our neighbours could feel at home with us and we in turn came to
acknowledge them as our extended family. In fact, our neighbours Mr Thakkorbhai Patel, his wife Mrs KamubenPatel and their sons are very much our family and their love and support is most precious to Manu and I. I was a young bride at 18 and I had little or no experience of running a household then. I can truly say that Kamuben. Patel, in her gentle yet persistent and supportive manner encouraged me to take things in my stride and flourish. and for that, I am ever so grateful.
Manu. both my sons and I all love the mung dal and bhhakhri (pictured below)that Mrs Patel often used to prepare. I often make this at home, hoping to create a similar taste sensation. It makes us feel closer to our extended family and revives memories of Dar-es-Salaam. I shall be posting the recipes for both the dal and bhhakhri in the near fure so watch this space.
jikoni 